I used to swim in my insecurities, fears, worries, trauma and pain. I had a major poor me attitude that I couldn’t seem to shake. I latched on to anyone willing to listen to my stories, feel bad for me and take me under their wing. I felt like the world owed me something for all of the hardship I had survived. Even as a married young woman, I would spend the majority of my days complaining about my past and current state of misery and poor health. My language stemmed from my belief that life wasn’t fair and that negative experiences kept happening to me. My mentality took a massive toll on my marriage. Day after day of negativity and complaining was enough to make any supportive and loving person depleted. I clung to my stories for dear life as I allowed my past to define my present.
To be honest, I cannot pinpoint a defining moment that inspired optimism within me. I believe it was gradual mental shifts, exposure to healers & spiritual mentors combined with barely being able to stand myself as I drowned in self-pity. I felt like I was completely swallowed up in my own skewed perceptions and pain and no one could pull me out of the darkness but myself.
Fast forward 10 years, after releasing old stories, taking ownership of my beliefs, thoughts, emotions and life experiences and stripped away layers of trauma, misperceptions and societal projections. After transforming and balancing my physical body through eating for health, professional supplements, yoga, meditation, breathing techniques, reiki and chakra clearing; I am finally myself. I feel empowered, strong, capable and grateful. My new normal setpoint is appreciation and trust in the process, the beauty, the ebbs and flows. I have the ability to see myself objectively and practice discernment to navigate through decisions and experiences. I honor my body. I am grounded in my belief that I am the co-creator of my life, working with Divine to support my highest good. I value my personal rhythm in all areas of my life. In the midst of this beauty, a new fear has arisen…
I am afraid to revert back to old ways. I have a fear of victim consciousness.
How have I remedied this fear thus far?
I have continued to move forward at lightening speed. Part of being a manifesting generator is my ability to process quickly, move on and create my desires. My resilience is through the roof. I often accidentally skip over the emotions piece, which is sometimes helpful and sometimes not. If you’re into astrology, I have a Scorpio moon, which to me means I’m incredible deep and intense. Whatever I believe, feel or do has an extreme intensity, which I love because it aids my dreams into reality more quickly. However, when I skip over the intensity of my emotions, I can leave an important process behind. Before I know it, I’m not sure how I feel. Not only that, but I’ve accidentally turned off my compassion and acknowledgement for others, which is totally missing the point of the human experience.
I live in a spiritual bubble. Truthfully, I often have a hard time maneuvering on this planet. Intuitively, I know there is a better way to live - higher, lighter, deeper, freer, limitless and in pure LOVE. I don’t watch the news or see what is happening in the world because I choose to shelter myself in my beautiful perceptions. I have turned a blind eye to others pain, so I do not get sucked into my empathetic ways and slip into old victim consciousness. I have jumped into the extreme manifestation and co-creation energy and left all victim consciousness behind in my dust. With this, I also disconnect emotionally and feel as if anyone with judgements or fears are weak-sauce and need to get it together, see the truth of this abundant & magnificent world, and get to creating something new! On to the good stuff! You have the power to design your life. Don’t you see your loving power? Why are you wasting time wallowing in self-pity when the world is your oyster?! Why are you continuing to live in the same cycle over and over? Aren’t you ready to break free?!
While this mindset and momentum gets myself and others results; sometimes I am missing the mark on this one. I have realized that turning a blind eye to the happenings in the world and not acknowledging pain is NOT what I am here for, and it is no longer okay with me to participate in. Acknowledgment and compassion are not victim consciousness. I am human, and I choose to interact with this life.
What is my new remedy for this fear?
I can be both empathetic, compassionate, loving AND be in Goddess Warrior, Co-Creation Consciousness.
I am strong enough not to slip into victim consciousness and stay there.
I can engage fully and interact with my loved ones, enjoy the pleasures of this beautiful planet, process the ugly and painful occurrences, have sympathy for other’s plights AND continue to design my incredibly expansive, abundant, vibrant and beautiful life. I am a spiritual being having a human experience. I am both. I can be both. I can have both. I am always aligned with my higher consciousness. I am always plugged in to the infinite Universe supplying me with all that I need. Those are my truths.
I am also a firm believer that life is about your unique balance. In this case, balance means feeling your emotions that arise during your life experiences. It is not about skipping over them to get to the good stuff. Acknowledging what you have been through and how you feel is a necessary step to your expansion. From that place, you can then process forgiveness at your own pace, have compassion for yourself and others, learn what you need to learn and then get to creating what you desire.
On the flip side, swimming in self-pity, the same fears and worries day after day, year after year, is another story and will absolutely keep you in stuck status only creating more misery. That becomes a choice and a way of life. This is not what I am talking about here.
My intention is to interact with my human experience. That means feeling what I feel, expressing it in a healthy way and allowing it to move through me, not past me.
My intention is to have compassion for you and give you the space to navigate your experiences while I support you in your expansion in a loving and gentle way. I am not here to convince, push, judge or be harsh with you. I am here to guide you into the light, remind you of the essence of who you are and what you are capable of, and see the magic within you. Together we will create pieces of Heaven on Earth.
If you want to work with me; please contact me here.