Shame is my Greatest Teacher

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Shame is my Greatest Teacher

Dear Fellow Healers, Guides, Intuitives, Light Workers, Leaders, Conscious Creators, Gurus, Masters,

Do you feel the acceleration?

The past few months I have felt like I was being pushed, prodded, squeezed and triggered intensely.

I feel the push for us to process, heal and clear all of our shit (stories, old wounds, triggers, old energies) to make space for the level-UP that WE are leading for the collective. Everything feels like it’s speeding up to meet these demands, and the energies are supporting us to seek out those who will trigger our deepest wounds in order to finally be free of these dense energies holding us down.

WE ALL CHOSE THIS.

I know it’s painful. I feel you. I hear you. I’m with you. We are holding space for everyone on the planet to raise the collective vibration. We are all here for each other’s expansion! Some of us are supporting each other by offering guidance, insight, connection, understanding and embrace while others are working to bring each other’s deepest wounds to the surface. Thank you to all of my teachers!! They are all equally loving and purposeful experiences right now.

AGAIN, WE HAVE A CHOICE…

We can choose resistance, blame, shame, anger and fear (and STAY in this place or dump it on others) and those energies/triggers will continue to come up in different scenarios until we HEAL and transform it…

OR

We can choose to see our experiences as part of the big picture, the greater good for all that is, wounds that need tending to once and for all.

My close friend always say “If you have a problem, then YOU have a problem.” I believed it halfway…when it benefited me ;) But when it was someone else’s FAULT, then I blamed to feed my ego. Now I am feeling this statement/belief as incredibly and powerfully TRUE.

We are all working with our emotional bodies to clear these old wounds of abandonment, loneliness, shame, guilt, unworthiness, fear, anger, grief, frustration, jealousy, envy, apathy, depression…

We are transitioning from victimhood to acceptance and truth that we are not our emotions or our experiences. They just are as they are. They are just different energies and frequencies. It doesn’t mean they aren’t real. It just means that we are ready to end this cycle of suffering and embrace a NEW way of living that is with more ease and flow. Ease and flow does not mean that challenges will not arise. It means that when these challenges arise, they no longer trigger us into our old emotional patterns. We simply feel the emotion fully, ask what it is teaching us in that moment and then transform it into a higher vibration emotion, such as gratitude or love. To me, it looks like a constant flow of energies, in and out with no attachment to that energy/emotion. As they come in, we observe, learn, grow, transform and send it out.

My soul sister, Sunny, taught me that you cannot simply “let it go” when it comes to emotions. That means getting rid of it, dumping it on other vulnerable beings or sending it out into the Universe. That energy is yours to replace. That emotion of anger or shame must be transformed and brought back to you. I had never thought of energies in this way! But doesn’t it make so much sense? If you give it away, LET IT GO, then it will come back again, untransformed, to be lived out again in a similar scenario. This is why acknowledging your emotions, feeling them fully, diving IN, learning the lessons and THEN transmuting it will bring a flow of higher frequencies into your being and into the Universe. Everyone will benefit from your courage, love and hard work! :)

Emotions are not GOOD OR BAD. They are just different energies…some more dense and contracted and others lighter and more expanded. If you see emotions as energies that are asking for attention and transformation rather than labeling them as negative or bad, then the power of those emotions diminish in my experience. Acceptance of what is settles into my bones and the next question of; what do I want to choose next with the new information and insight I now have?

What are your deepest wounds?

What are the same triggers that keep coming up in different scenarios, playing out in different people over and over again?

For me, it’s shame and guilt.

Shame and guilt are of the LOWEST possible vibrations!!!

How does shame and guilt show up for me on the regular?

  • When I do/say/believe/think anything I or someone else perceives as “wrong” or “bad”.

  • Whenever I make human mistakes.

I did something wrong = shame = unworthy and unlovable = abandonment & loneliness.

My deepest fear is loss and being alone and unloved.

Do I want this same story and pattern to keep playing out?

Sure DON’T!!!

*************** Time for a NEW pattern. ****************

Shame is my greatest teacher.

Shame teaches me that I made a choice or someone in my environment is out of alignment with who I am. Shame is my sweet moral compass giving me gentle nudges to be true to my heart and stay on my path of love and enlightenment. I honor shame for guiding me back to my truth, my heart, my aligned journey, love. Shame also guides me to see where I am giving my power away to others. Thank you shame, I love you, I transform you into love and gratitude, send that love into the Universe to be returned back to me and so it is.

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I felt like I was dying...

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I felt like I was dying...

I don’t talk much about my childhood out of fear that I will be seen as weak, asking for attention, feeling bad for myself, in my sob story, not letting go of the past, making others uncomfortable, woe is me…but it’s TIME to share bits of my story and how it impacts me NOW to be of service to others in their times of pain.

To show you there’s a way to move through it.

To embody my pain and suffering and also my love and light.

Since I was a child — traumatically ripped from mother’s arms at age 3 — I have LONGED, BEGGED, PLEADED for love, acceptance and approval…especially from the sacred feminine.

If I’m a GOOD girl, I listen well, I behave, I do what I’m supposed to, I get good grades, I help others feel better with my shiny personality, do the right thing; THEN I will loved.

If I’m naughty or bad, then I must be punished. I am only loveable if I’m a good girl.

You see, I know I am of the light, not the darkness…but the first 28 years of my were emotionally dark, excruciating and confusing.

As I matured, I realized this deep-rooted pattern and focused on “healing” it and moving on to be the person I’m meant to be — unafraid, powerful, light-filled.

But the truth is…

This pattern simply manifested in me in a different way, and I have been completely BLIND-SIDED by it’s interference in being WHO I AM and how I’m showing up in the world.

I began to HIDE behind others, living in the shadows, preaching what I learned from my mentors, coaches and Intuitives….believing that THEIR truth was MINE. Why forge MY own path when the blueprint is already there? And people LOVE them, they inspire, they’re wise beyond my years…they KNOW more than me, better than me. They know the truth.

Not only that but admiring my mentors on pedestals, above me, seeing more than me, giving my power away time and time again…begging for approval. Look at me! Look how great I am! Love me! PLEASE! Love me! Giddy with excitement and self-worth every time my mentors gave me praise.

…This realization led me to my knees…

Praying for guidance, clarity, TRUTH…

I felt my entire foundation crumble below my feet.

Pieces of my soul scattered, confused, angry, sad, and SCARED to DEATH of judgement. Scared that if I looked too closely I wouldn’t love who I am…

WHO I AM?

What is MY TRUTH? What does that even mean?

What is MY unique essence?

What are MY innate gifts and talents?

The old beliefs of who I thought I was BROKEN and yet the NEW not taking roots yet…

IT FELT LIKE I WAS DYING.


I HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO SURRENDER.

For the first time in my life, I asked for help.

I have been surrounded by people who love me my entire life and yet I have always traveled into my soul and these painful experiences ALONE, beating myself up over and over to learn the lessons. Feeling shame and anger for making the same mistakes. In order to learn, I needed to beat myself over the head with it…internally scold myself, closing my heart off even more, thinking I learned the lesson and moving on…to be left still feeling broken and ashamed.

This time I chose differently.

I asked for help.

I asked to be held in a sacred space to purge, curl up like a baby and sob.

I was given heart-centered guidance and love in a way that I have never experienced before. I let myself be HELD, so safely, so supported, so nurtured.

I was held in the sacred feminine, chest to chest, heart to heart, soul to soul, essence to essence.

I finally, after 33 years, felt my heart TRULY starting to open.

I have cried about everything remotely emotionally touching the past 4 days.

Allowing the love to fully encompass my heart.

Feeling judgements dissipate.

Feeling myself relax into the sacred feminine.

Feeling the truth of who I am start to emerge and open like a flower.

Some call this “a dark night of the soul”, and I am choosing to call this necessary internal shifts, activating my heart to show up fully, connected in a whole new light with true authentcity pumping through my being to SHOW UP FULLY in my truth to be of service.

Universe, I hear you sister.

I am awake.

I am awake to the realness of the pain and happenings in our world, awake to the depths of love, awake to the major expansion happening all around us.

I am beginning to embody who I am and how I am of service.

No more hiding.

No more playing small.

No more fear of being judged and burned.

No more disconnection from those I love most.

Strengthening my inner knowing that my truth is my truth and your truth is your truth, and that’s so perfect.

The world needs you.

The world needs me.

I love you so much.

Thank you for listening and holding space for me to express myself fully and deeply.

I forgive myself.

Love & Honor,

Krystal

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Dairy- Free, Paleo Queso Dip!

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Dairy- Free, Paleo Queso Dip!

Dairy Free Queso!!

(Paleo, AIP, Nut Free)

Author: Michelle Hoover from Unbound Wellness

  • Prep Time: 10

  • Cook Time: 20

  • Total Time: 30 minutes

Ingredients

  • 2 tbsp. avocado oil

  • 1 onion, diced

  • 3 cloves garlic, minced

  • 1 cup sweet potato, chopped

  • 1 1/4 cup butternut squash, cubed

  • 1 cup organic chicken ( or veggie) broth

  • 1/2 cup coconut milk

  • 3 tbsp. nutritional yeast

  • 1 tsp sea salt

  • 1/2 tsp black pepper (omit for AIP)

  • 1 tbsp. + 1 tsp arrowroot starch

Optional Toppings:

  • 4–5 oz. of grass-fed ground beef, cooked

  • 1/2 red onion, diced

  • 2 tbsp. cilantro

  • fresh jalapenos, diced

Instructions

  1. Using a medium-sized pot, heat the avocado oil over medium heat.

  2. Add the onion and garlic and sauté until the onion is translucent.

  3. Add in the sweet potato, butternut squash, broth, coconut milk, nutritional yeast, salt, and pepper and stir well to combine. Bring to a low simmer and reduce the heat to medium-low. Cover the pot and allow to simmer for 15 minutes. The vegetables should be fork tender.

  4. Allow the mixture to cool slightly before adding to a blender along with the arrowroot starch. Blend until smooth and thick.

  5. Serve the queso topped with optional toppings and with chips like plantain chips.

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TAKE ACTION!

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TAKE ACTION!

Sometimes it’s necessary to use our minds and trust our emotions. Other times it’s necessary to trust our bodies and intuition. Other times, we just need to MOVE! Sometimes we need ALL OF IT to process whatever we are going through. TRUST yourself and your personal process.

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Guest Blog: Stepping Into The Light

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Guest Blog: Stepping Into The Light

Amanda is the owner of Lumiére VT located in Burlington, VT. Amanda is a beautiful and brilliant hairdresser at a holistic salon. She is an educator of all things essential oils and crystals. Most importantly, Amanda is a light worker dedicated to bringing more love into the world. She offers virtual card readings and monthly Insight Subscriptions. Please check here out here!

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Fear of Victim Consciousness

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Fear of Victim Consciousness

My intention is to have compassion for you and give you the space to navigate your experiences while I support you in your expansion in a loving and gentle way. I am not here to convince, push, judge or be harsh with you. I am here to guide you into the light, remind you of the essence of who you are and what you are capable of, and see the magic within you. Together we will create pieces of Heaven on Earth.

6 Comments

Compassion:  Releasing Perfectionism

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Compassion: Releasing Perfectionism

Releasing perfectionist tendencies sounds beautiful and yet is one of the most challenging goals that many of us face. Our society is hyper-focused on perfection, speed, multi-tasking, meeting deadlines, goals, expectations and a “I have it all together” attitude. Live your best life is a common phrase among the health & wellness community. While this sounds heavenly; it can give us another reason to beat ourselves up, feel like we are not good enough, being enough or doing enough if we feel like we are not living our best life. We often compare ourselves to others who appear to be living in harmony, abundance, vibrant health and positivity. We spiral down as we ask ourselves what we are doing wrong and how we can fix it to live a happier, more fulfilling life.

We have been programmed to seek out the wrongs within ourselves instead of the rights. We have been programmed to strive for #bettereveryday, which is wonderful if we are simultaneously giving ourselves compassion along the way. Skipping the step of self-compassion is extremely easy to do. I personally fall into this old pattern on the regular. I have a fear of being in victim consciousness and feeling powerless over my life, having a whoa is me attitude and not being seen as the inspiring guide I know that I am. Showing compassion for myself in a moment of not having it all together is my perceived weakness. In the spiritual community, we often use the phrase “our physical reality is an illusion”. The truth is, our life experiences are very REAL and sometimes painful. It is much more exciting to be in the energy of forward movement and personal growth. Once you are on the journey of expansion, creation and manifestation; you don’t look back! However, this energy can be a mask for not validating your emotions, acknowledging your pain and can become a reason for diminishing your life experiences. Life is about balance. We must honor our experiences, pain, emotions, challenges as well as our successes, growth, power and creation. In order to move into true forgiveness and transformation, we must have compassion for our experiences. Compassion is the key to releasing old patterns that no longer serve and inviting in higher vibrations that match what you want to create in your body, mind, spirit and life.

As we step into this new light and see ourselves with new lenses, we must give ourselves acknowledgement, love, light and grace as we let go of doing it perfectly and getting it right. You are on your own unique journey, your own timeline using your own inner compass to guide you. You are exactly where you are meant to be. You are enough. You are a beautiful soul. You matter.

The world doesn’t need you to be perfect; the world needs you here.

If you want to work with me, please click HERE.

Love and Light,

Krystal

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Featured Blog: What are Essential Oils?

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Featured Blog: What are Essential Oils?

Where do Essential Oils Come From?

“A variety of plants cover the Earth in different shapes, sizes, colors, and scents. Many of these plants contain compounds that typically can’t be seen with the naked eye—they hide within the roots, flowers, seeds, bark, or other areas of the plant. These compounds are known as essential oils. They are highly concentrated, making them extremely potent. Also referred to as volatile aromatic compounds, essential oils give a plant its aroma, protect it from harsh environmental conditions and insects, and even play a part in plant pollination.” -doTERRA.

For more information on the fundamentals of essential oils, visit the blog spotlight page here.

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My Path to Now...

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My Path to Now...

My Journey…

On May 22, 1986, my soul was born into this world (yes, I am full fledged Gemini!). My first 14 years of life were traumatic and painful. I was left to fend for myself at a very young age, and I had major abandonment and control issues. I was extremely insecure about my body, my intelligence and myself. I strived for perfection. I thought if only I could please others; I could earn their love, approval and acceptance. I struggled with an eating disorder at the age of 13. I also had severe anxiety and depression. I was crippled with chronic fatigue, digestive issues and hormone imbalances. I felt completely helpless, alone and disempowered. I felt anger buried deep down inside, and I had no idea how to process it. I thought if I just kept smiling, then it would go away. However, through it all I always knew in my heart that there was a better way. I could feel Universal Energy and intuitively knew I would create a meaningful life. I just didn’t know how to get there…

I graduated college in 2008 with a bachelor’s degree in psychology. I studied psychology because I knew I wanted to help guide people out of their misery and into a beautiful life. At the time, the only way I knew was through the mind. If I could learn about the mind and human behavior, then surely I could help people. Although I was still a complete “mess” (aka - I had not yet remembered the essence of who I was); I thought that if I could help others, I would feel better about myself. However, I knew something was still missing. I wanted to learn more about physical health, so then I could REALLY help people =) I went on to begin a Master’s Degree at Skidmore College and learn about Health & Wellness Education. As it turns out, that still wasn’t enough…

In 2009, I met my husband. I moved with him to Virginia, and we were married within 9 months. I went from being a college student to being a wife of an active-duty submariner with 3 kids in a matter of months. At this time, I was completely overwhelmed by life. I couldn’t find a job let alone start my career. Again, I felt absolutely disempowered and lost in the world. I was in so much emotional pain that I began to study holistic health and spirituality to find some answers. I completed my Reiki Certification program. I started seeing a Spiritual Life Coach (who changed my life, by the way!). I knew I was beginning to get closer to my calling…

In 2012, we moved to California where I started school for holistic nutrition.  I learned how to heal my physical body through whole food nutrition, supplements, movement, breathwork, patience and countless other healing modalities. If I listed all of the modalities, healers and coaches who helped me on my journey; we would be here all day. It takes a village! During this time, I also had a beautiful pregnancy and birth of my son, which was absolute magic. My experience bringing him into this world empowered my Goddess soul like no other, and I am so grateful.

In 2014, we moved to CT where I started my own business: The Vital Mama, LLC. My vision was to support mothers and their children holistically. While this was my intention; the clients I was attracting were not mothers at all. They were middle-aged women looking for answers about their health. I loved nutrition consulting and creating plans that helped my clients heal underlying health conditions and find their balance with healthy eating & lifestyle. I then reached a point where again, it still didn’t feel like it was enough…

In 2018, we moved to Virginia outside of D.C. Again, I felt lost in the world. I left my practice behind and started anew. I went months without work and felt like I was not aligned with my purpose anymore. I began diving back into my spiritual practice to unveil more layers of who I was and what my mission was on this planet. During this process, I began cultivating my intuition. The truth is, it has always been there and yet I ignored it as I was focused on “real world” proof, education, certifications, reasoning and logic.

As I started to allow my gift of intuition to come through; I started to come alive. I felt a surge of energy that I have never experienced before. When I say intuition; for me it comes through as messages from Universe/Source/Divine/God (whatever you vibe with) in the form of visuals, auditory and a “sense” or feeling. Although I am very in touch with my intuition and utilize it to guide me; I am not a a pure Intuitive.

If you choose to invite me into your life; I am truly grateful for your energy, courage and beauty. I look forward to being a part of your path & guiding you to create a body and life you love.

Sending Love & Light,

Krystal

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